Responses to being stared at 

Stare back until they look away or blink, then loudly announce: “I win again! Champion of the staring contests!”

 Nudge somebody nearby, whisper “Is that person staring at me?” and point surreptitiously. Repeat until target is throrougly discomforted, just as you usually are when people point and whisper and stare. 

Say “I know! Isn’t it fa-bulous?” and toss your hair, smooth your shirt, or modestly admire your manicure. “I know that people can’t help staring at my marvellous wardrobe / hair colour / cell phone. It’s a good thing I don’t mind attention.” 

Flutter your eyelashes, giggle, and say “Do you fancy me, then?” in a carrying voice. “You’re staring so much, I think you must be in love. Tee hee.”

 “Keep staring. I might do a trick.” 

(Especially after no.5. above.) Fake a seizure, sudden pain, or death rattle, followed by yelling “Ha! Fooled you!” 

Ask them if they’ve found Jesus in their lives.

 Make disgusting faces until they look away. If called on your rudeness, apologise and explain that your doctor’s prescribed these therapeutic face exercises, and offer to demonstrate. 

Attempt to engage them in friendly, normal conversation about the weather. If this doesn’t work, start to drool mid-sentence. 

Ask them if they can spare some change.